I view mentoring from a model I used in youth ministry 30 years ago that goes like this: I do it, and you watch. Then, I do it, and you help me do it; we do it together. After that, you do it, and I help you do it. And then you do it, and I move on to doing something else. I believe that kind of relationship and development is key to building God’s church.
This material was originally recorded as part of the Renovations Project. It has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.
A real life mentoring example
I will never forget one of my favorite mentoring situations. A young man had dropped out of undergrad and was about to work in the shipyard. And one of my mentees brought him to meet me. And in that meeting, he talked about a sermon that was just phenomenal. And I said, “I have a church. You see me as a professor here, but I’m also a pastor. Can you come to the church and preach?” He came, and he shared. It was beautiful.
I talked to the members and my wife and asked them to really help him become the youth pastor for the church. In doing that, I was able to create for him a space to grow and to exercise his gifts. The beauty was my wife taught him that there are some things you have to do in order to be in this position. You can’t just be this fabulous youth pastor that everybody loves. What are your policies for visiting with young children? What are your policies where you take someone on trips? All of that happened. He became frustrated with the rule part of it, but he now has one of the most awesome thriving ministries in our community.
He wound up finishing his undergrad and his master of divinity degree. He now has a church; he’s married, and they have several children. That came about by just being with him, letting him just watch us do, then helping him do, and then him doing it—and I moved on to being president.
Related: How mentoring can change today’s narrative of young people and the church
The church changes, but it is still God’s church
I think the future of the church is heaven on earth and heaven in heaven. God is calling for a new heaven right now, and you can see it with people marching on the streets. A number of the young people that I talked to who are out marching are saying, “The church isn’t relevant anymore. The church isn’t the leader of this; the youth are leading.” But what was so encouraging for me is that I know the leaders who are leading have been mentored by the church. Even if they reject it in its formal setting, they’re now doing the work that Christ has called them to do.
Related: Three ways churches can be hospitable in a time of deconstruction
For me, that’s glorious. How do they institutionalize that? Right now they’re doing ministry in ways where they’re not giving Christ the glory. Thus, the church is saying that they’re not part of the church. I know that they were nurtured, and they grew up in the church. I know some of those leaders and what’s been poured into them. And I know in ten years they are going to be the ones who are leading the church. So for me, I’m not worried about that. I read stories about how people hated drums and music in churches. Now you get churches that are just bumping, with rapping going on, and all these things. I don’t like that, but somebody does. It’s working too.
God’s church is going to keep marching, and she’s going to march on. It’s the church ekklesia, the called out ones; it is not building ekklesia. If those persons are called out, they’re in the church, and we’ve got to rethink this thing. We’ve got to recognize that this is the church now. It has just morphed into another form. How do we help that form become lifesaving, life-giving, missional, fellowship, koinonia—one that does the things that need to be done for the world to be a better place? The world is pretty messed up, but it’s always been messed up. And at the same time, it’s always been wonderful.
Related: How the church can take something bad and make it better
Leading is sacrificing
I think the church will help those who are resistant to change by listening. Too often we become bishops, we become popes, we become elders, we become deacons, and we become presidents. We become the ones who have all the power and have all the glory. If we don’t learn from our own mistakes of not listening—we fought against people who didn’t listen to us—why wouldn’t they fight against us for not listening to them? I think that’s there. I look at my children, those that I’ve taken in who had no biological connection whatsoever and the one who is biological. It’s been just a joy to just sit in conversation. As I listen, I’m then going to use the gifts God has given me to help them figure out what they want to do. That’s what I think most leaders have to do—not just for personal gain, but how do we do that in our churches? How do we do that in our seminaries? We have to sacrifice. We’re too comfortable just being in our spaces and enjoying what we take in as leaders; we need to sacrifice it.
Related: A call to be active Christian leaders of transformation in the world today
Leading requires connecting in relationship
What sparks missional imagination in leaders in church? I think it’s a synergy—when you really connect with other people on this level. Jesus called disciples, and in calling them, he shared his spirit with them. That’s the piece for me that we sometimes forget. It’s not just doing daily work; it’s the relationship.
I think the more we do that, the more we really have that synergy in relationships, and the more we’ll be able to imagine what we do as leaders. Leaders get burned out; people are so burned out. I’ve seen it over and over again. What we have to focus on is connection.
That connection pours into your spirit, it pours into your soul, and it pours into the relationship. It lets you then re-imagine what it is to do the work. We’re so caught up in what we have to do, but if I’m burned out, things are going to get done anyway. I might as well spend this quality time nurturing my soul, nurturing our relationship, nurturing what goes on so that we are in step with each other. Even if you’re doing something else, and I’m over here doing my something else, we’re both still doing. So it gets done that way, but we forget about that. Relationships are necessary; there’s still the need for other skills, but relationships are critical. It’s essential that you have that, and to develop that is the first step of re-imagining.
Related: How to connect with others toolkit
Renew your church’s imagination for ministry
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Rev. Dr. Micah McCreary
Rev. Micah L. McCreary, Ph.D., is president of New Brunswick Theological Seminary in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and a minister of Word and sacrament in the Reformed Church in America (RCA). He also serves the RCA as a General Synod professor of theology. Prior to coming to New Brunswick, Dr. McCreary served in the pastorate, psychological practice, and professorate at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia. He studied engineering at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and theology at the Samuel DeWitt Proctor School of Theology at Virginia Union University in Richmond, Virginia. He received his M.S. and Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia.
